Life and learning

In my effort to make the summer holidays a learning experience, I thought I'd do something useful with Alexander at home. So I bought books with cutting activities and mazes so that he learns manual dexterity and fine motor skills.  Sounds good in theory.  Only that I didn't realize how painfully difficult it is for a preschooler to hold a pair of scissors, open its jaws, aim to have the paper between the blades (which has to be explained to him), cut, move forward and start all over again and again.  PATIENCE. And I need a huge abundance of it so that he doesn't get frustrated and decide it's not an enjoyable exercise never wanting to try it again. And Patience is often times in short supply because a preschooler can be easily distracted by a wandering baby brother at his feet or by anything that's on the table.

I'm not even going to let him try the book of mazes yet. First he has got to know how to grasp a pencil and control it to make meaningful lines. Then, there is the concept of a maze - how the 'car' (him) must go on that white road and you can't go through the houses or trees to reach the 'star'.

I never realized how much learning goes on and how much we have actually learnt to function in society. Social conventions such as "Dear so-and-so" is written at the top of a card/letter when at 8, my mother got real mad at me for writing "Dear Aunty Jessica" at the bottom of the Christmas card.

And as we get older, perhaps we don't learn so much physically (unless it's to engage in midlife crisis sports like snowboarding or wakeboarding) but we learn about relationships and life.  It really does give meaning to that Confucian saying 活到老学到老 (Learn as long as you live)

Alexander is nearly 3  years old while the tiny tyke, Lucas, is 10.5 months old

Parenting by guilt

Parenting is all about guilt management.  Love and guilt go hand in hand when it comes to kids along with a good dose of self doubt.  Am I spending enough time with him?  Should I switch off the tv / work less / not go to the gym so that I can play / read with the kids?  Am I doing all I can to make sure he's growing up a happy kid?  Gosh, the list is endless.  And since there are only 24 hours in a day with a finite amount of energy or sanity to spare, it becomes a zero sum game - a constant tug of war between wanting to do right by the family and the other, often neglected party, me.  Most times, the family wins hands down.  Then there would be the guilt about not hitting the threadmill (even if I'm freaking tired because Lucas woke me up twice last night).  And if I go out to meet friends, am I being selfish?

So as I see it, survival in the parenting game is about occasionally shutting out the dissenting nagging voice in the head and balancing everyone's needs: babies, hub & self.  It's complicated. I only hope that in the long run, all will be well.


Alexander is nearly 3 years old while the tiny tyke, Lucas, is 9 months old

The Desile Chair

If good design has a name, it would be called the Desile chair. Ecologically conscious, the indoor version, measuring just 2cm thick when folded, is made of bamboo, a wonder plant that grows incredibly fast.  The outdoor version is made of 100% recycled plastic (PET) and is slightly thicker & heavier.

Unfortunately, it doesn't seem to be available anywhere yet as it just won the 2009 "Coup de Coeur" award at Paris' Maison et Objet show in September.  I want!

Alexander is nearly 3 years old while the tiny tyke, Lucas, is 8 months old

Traveling tips with kids

I had a list of what to pack for our trip to Phuket and Singapore.  And despite my attempt at micro-organizing, I still had to have my Ayi (helper) meet us at the airport with the baby carrier that I'd forgotten to pack.  And just when I settled into my seat, I'd a strange feeling that I hadn't packed the baby food mill that I'd purposefully washed, dried with a paper towel and packed into its green case.  I was right.

Tip #1: make a list of essentials (medication, must have toys, duplicate pacifiers...) then double check and triple check to make sure they are packed.  Ideally pack everything the night before (yes, that was my lofty aim. Didn't happen though)

Going back to a Thai resort island brought back many nice memories of our honeymoon at Ko Samui 5 years ago.  But the similarity ended there. Our trip this time couldn't be more different.  No possibility of taking off whenever wherever.  No riding on mopeds.  And no peaceful dinners.  All activities were scheduled around naptimes.  Only 1 major activity a day (and this isn't just for the kids, it's for us, parents as well).  It made for a very s-l-o-w paced holiday but that was good.  Very quickly, we also discovered that total Enjoyment (E) can be maximized with take-outs and eating in our hotel room because the row created by cranky, tired kids (k) is minimized even though some of the ambience is sacrificed (a).  The formula can be roughly written as:

E = max{min(k) + max(a)}

Tip #2: Be flexible & build lots of buffer when planning activities.

Tip #3: Say bye-bye to candlelight dinners. Eating Thai beef salad and Phad Thai in the hotel room while baby is crawling around may be better on stress levels.

We brought along Alexander's favourite cartoons on Markku's iPhone.  Besides its obvious use as a gaming device or movie screen, it became a tv player when the Apple a/v Component cable is used!  As a result, Alexander was happily watching Dora and Sesame Street on the big screen.

Tip #4: Bring entertainment in whatever form... colouring books, iPhone, DVDs.

While in Singapore, I tried to find out kid friendly places whether it's an indoor playground, baby changing stations in malls or events for children.  Unfortunately, I couldn't find any kiddy activities organized by museums (perhaps it wasn't school hols?) or theater groups but I happily stumbled upon the best baby changing station I'd ever seen anywhere - 313@Orchard!  Microwave, hot water dispenser, changing mats with tissue, breastfeeding room and a toilet which has a kid sized bowl beside the regular bowl -how cute is that??  I can't believe I'm raving about baby changing stations but if you had a poop emergency or need a quiet corner to feed your baby, you'd realize that that room is as close to heaven as you could get.

Tip #5: Before arriving, find out about child-friendly facilities and things to do.

Sorry for being so darn obvious :D

From Babycenter.com: Seven secrets to successful travel with a young child


Alexander is coming to 3 (!) years old while the tiny tyke, Lucas, is 8 months old

Hold and lift

When my daughter was learning to pee in the toilet, sometimes it would shoot straight out, covering the front of the seat and the floor. I think this happened when she tried to look and see what was going on. Teaching her to lean forward with her legs together solved the problem. 

 Donna

 And I thought only little boys have a problem with their equipment ;)  Alexander's problem was the pee coming straight down into his pants, legs and shoes.. and on occasion, my hands. yuck. But our catchphrase now is, "hold and lift", which seems to solve the problem. Most times anyway.

Alexander is 2.5 years old while the tiny tyke, Lucas, is 7.5 months old

Two is enough

Memory is a strange thing.  The further we try to go back into the deep recesses of our memory, the patchier it seems.  It's almost as if someone has cut the reels and all we remember are snippets of events.  For instance, I don't remember much of my first trip to Hong Kong when I was five except that I liked airplane food a lot (and especially the cup of cold milk that was the Best Milk I ever tasted..hmph, in large part due to the fact that it's a) cold, b) not made from a powdered milk called 'Klim' and c) it was airplane milk), I managed to block the toilet of my aunt who was living in HK when I pooped on the first day, I missed my dad a lot who stayed back  in Singapore with my sister and me throwing a royal tantrum at the defunct Ocean Park when I didn't get my way with something.  Those are what I remembered of my first trip abroad.

There was also another image that seemed burned into my memory.  It was that of 2 adorable little girls biting into an apple sharing an umbrella. It was a poster and the message was simple: Two is enough.  Don't ask me how I remembered that.  I am not even sure I could read then!  But it was probably one of the first of many public education slogans (the cynical would refer to them as propaganda ;) that would be part of my growing up in Singapore.  Anyhow, it was part of the Government's effort to stem the increase in population that was breeding like rabbits.  I just have to add that the irony of it is that 20 years later, the poster apparently worked too well and the new slogan became, "Have 2 or more if you can afford it".

Yes, "Two is enough".  It is enough for me and I'm sure my dear DH will wholeheartedly agree with me.  We've passed the 6 month mark where things are supposed to be getting easier.  And it probably IS except that we don't exactly feel it right now.  Right now, Lucas is no longer the helpless maggot but a little big man.  Today, I laid him on the ground behind me while I read to Alexander and when I turned around, Lucas was sitting up.  Whoa. Did I leave him sitting up, no, that can't be as he's still like one of those bobbing head dogs that you see on a car's dashboard.  He has lost his balance a couple of times, fell sideways/backwards and hit his head.  That poor maggot.  So yes, he pulled himself sitting up for the first time today - a milestone!!  I'm reminding myself that I'd better enjoy this phase, tired as I am, because he would be the last kid we'd be having.  I can't imagine going through all that hoopla with pregnancy and a wailing sleepless newborn at 40.

This is unbelievable!  I found it!

And is that a SCGS uniform?

Alexander is 2.5 years old while the tiny tyke, Lucas, is 7 months +1 day old

Woodcarving & lighting

I've been indulging myself with home decorating fancies lately which translates to weekend jaunts at furniture & ceramics markets with girlfriends while DH stays at home with the boys.  What a wonderful way to have a little mental respite from feeds and diapers!


Here's a prized find today.  It's massive at 1x1m.  No, I haven't bought it yet. This shop had an asking price of 1600 yuan which was way over what it ought to be.  She didn't seem amenable to bargaining so we took a picture and walked on.  At another shop that appeared to have good quality workmanship in woodcarving, I whipped out the camera and with some bargaining got it down to 750 yuan if we buy 4 pieces. (yep, my friend will take THREE.  She has a cathedral like home with an equally huge expanse of empty wall).

And I'm such a fan of Dutch design house Moooi.  Here's its Paper Chandelier.  There's a little something gothic with this lamp.

Then, there's Metalarte's Josephine Queen lighting.  I used to think chandeliers dowdy and passe but with these bold exciting designs, they really add a contemporary accent to living spaces.  Me like!

 


Alexander is 2.5 years old while the tiny tyke, Lukie is very nearly 7 months

The tooth fairy visits

Once upon a time, in a far away land, there was a tiny baby named Lukie Lucas.  One night, the tooth fairy came and sprinkled some teething dust on the sweet sleeping baby.  When he awoke, imagine mummy's surprise when she saw the tips of 2 pearly whites!

The end

Ps. Lukie Lucas is eating rather well now.  He loves his avocado and sweet potato mash. And just for the record, it's the bottom incissors.

Alexander is 2.5 years old while the tiny tyke, Lukie, is 6 months, 1 week +1 day

Oh Fuck

Recently when Lucas spit up a little milk on the floor, Alexander pointed to it and said, "oh fuck". A moment of silence and disbelief ensued. Then he said it again. And there was no mistake what he had said ;) Today it happened again. Lucas spit up some milk in the kitchen and Alexander ran over, pointed at the offensive puddle and exclaimed, "oh fuck". We think we know who he picked it up from...

But let's not get too hung up over that one word. It's not socially polite but I think it's hilarious when he said "dumb fuck" for "dump truck".

Alexander is 2.5 years old while the tiny tyke, Lukie, is 6 months +1 day

Say Ummm!

Precisely a week ago Lucas had his first taste of rice porridge. It was a messy and frustrating affair. He didn't know to open his mouth and whatever little porridge I could put into his mouth, out it came again. 4 days on, he could open his mouth and receive the spoon - what a breakthrough! And I believe he did swallow a little as well even if I used several pieces of paper to mop up drool and flying porridge that the little rascal had razzed all over. Today, I swear he did lunge at the spoon because that poor little thing was starving. Bad idea to have him so hungry. He threw a royal fit and the feed was over. Next on the agenda is to have him cooperate by leaning back in his chair so that I can at least see where my spoon is heading!

By contrast, Alexander's first 'bite' into the exciting world of real food was a breeze. Of course he stained a couple of bibs but I didn't remember having to wrestle with him - my left hand holding Lucas' head against the chair and my right holding the spoon trying to avoid his flapping arms. (We think Lucas has my Southern-Chinese highly-excitable temperament while Alexander has the calm Finnish outlook.) I'm hoping that Lucas will master the eating technique soon so that I can increase both the portion size and variety. Who would think that eating can be such a learning milestone? That the tongue has to learn not to push the food out but instead bring it to the back of the throat and then swallowing it? Baby steps....

Boiling & thawing frozen baby food

I read this from a forum for mums. This post is about freezing and thawing of baby food in ice cubes.

"When i heat the frozen puree, do i have to heat till it boils but b4 that we need to thaw first right?"

Are some folks really that dumb to ask a stupid question like that? I was going to say something about stupid questions and stupid people but I think I'll hold my tongue on that. To answer the question above, it merely requires common sense (which also goes to show common sense isn't so 'common' after all).

Obviously, it's a matter of preference. Previously cooked puree doesn't require boiling a second time as I'd assume that the act of boiling is to kill off bacteria. The underlying assumption is that the food cube had been prepared in a hyigenic manner to begin with. In fact, submitting a food item to high heat may reduce its Vitamin C. Secondly, if you've got a wailing baby crying murder, heating a food until it boils means a longer waiting time for the food to be cooled again = more wailing from the said baby.

And as for thawing, it's also logical to say that the act of boiling would mean that at some point in time the food is thawed before its temperature rises until its boiling point. Again, if you've got a wailing baby and the frozen cube is taken directly from the freezer and put into the microwave, it would also mean that the cube is thawed then subsequently reheated, if the definition of 'thaw' is that it's no longer in a frozen state.

Now, if you take 'thaw' to mean the act of putting the frozen cube in the fridge to thaw for a couple of hours before consumption, likewise, yes, the food will be thawed before it finally reaches the mouth of your baby. But that isn't a necessary step. And I should just say this because common sense is obviously lacking in some - if you choose to nuke the food, it must be mixed up well so that there isn't a hot spot that might burn a baby. Gosh, some people just need all the dots to be so close together.

Arabesque?

I learnt something new today. Someone wrote "arabesque" in a Facebook post and I became curious. It had something to do with dance since I know the photographer is heavily involved in the arts scene. This is what I learnt.

An arabesque is a one of the most difficult techniques in ballet which almost qualifies as torture in the Dark Ages or a beautiful movement if executed well.

Arabesque also refers to the repeated geometric pattern found in Islamic art.

WTF

Apparently, "wtf" & "kissmyass" have been taken up in blogspot along with others such as "orangesofa" & "bittersweetchocolate". And I thought I was original.

This blog is a move away from the blog I'd been maintaining for 2.5 years. I'm redefining my role as an individual. I'm not just a mummy to 2 boys but a person with interests beyond milestones & poopy diapers. Yes, I'm reclaiming myself which I seem to have lost. This blog is also edgier because that's how I am. I have a quick tongue and worse, a quicker temper. But it isn't all bad. I love to know I'm nurturing & teaching them things, even little things. "There are tea leaves in the tea bag and that's how we make tea." But as Lucas, the little munchkin, gets older and Alexander becomes more independent, I want to forge a new identity. For many, their work persona is a major part of who they are. For me however, my work never really ends and my workplace is the home. And so it comes to a point where I'm "mummy" and not "Ashley". That's sad, I know. F.